The Pain of Memory
by Seylin
Summary: There are good days and there are bad...the bad have been getting more frequent. Slash.


Shadowhunters rarely lived beyond their 30s; their line of work was just too dangerous. Jace and Clary had found that out. That battle had taken Simon from them too. Another ten years and Isabelle followed, her remains added to the city of bones like so many before her. It was a wonder that Magnus hadn't lost Alec then.

But no, Alec had mourned and then pulled himself together, continuing to run the New York Institute as he had done since his mother died. He was nearly 74 when he had started to forget the small things and it had just gotten worse from that point on. The second time he asked where Jace was, Magnus contacted Idris and told them that it was time for a new director for the New York Institute.

Magnus moved Alec away, though he hated to but he feared for Alec's safety, to a small assisted living facility in upstate New York. Magnus wasn't allowed to stay but he was there visiting every day as soon as he could. The days Alec didn't know him were becoming more and more frequent and each time Magnus' heart broke into a thousand more pieces. Alec had once compared their relationship to paper cuts, this was so much worse. The only good thing that came from this was when Alec talked of Shadowhunters, demons and anything else related to his life, the nurses put it off due to the disease.

One of the nurses was watering the flowers outside when Magnus got out of his car and approached the front doors. She gave him a smile, one tinged with a bit of sadness, "Good morning Mr. Banewood."

"Morning Susan… how is he today?" Magnus asked. Some days were better than others.

"He's asked for Jace and Izzy three times and wanted to know if Max had made it to bed or fallen asleep in the library again. Ms. Potts is keeping him company out on the porch now," Susan told him. Magnus nodded and thanked her before heading inside.

The door to Alec's room was open; another nurse was changing the sheets. She too gave him _that_ smile before he opened the door that led out to the porch and courtyard that connected all the rooms at the facility. There were a few other patients sitting in their rocking chairs, enjoying the sun, but Magnus focused on Alec.

Alec sat in a rocking chair, though he wasn't rocking. His black hair had long since been peppered with gray and now a healthy dose of white. His eyes were still blue as ever, but they were rarely in focus now. A worn blanket had been spread over his legs, Alec was always cold these days. In his lap lay a very contented looking tabby cat, Ms. Potts. She opened her eyes as Magnus sat down in the rocker next to Alec, her golden eyes reminded him so much of Chairman Meow. She closed her eyes again as Alec's wrinkled and spotted hand moved from her head to her tail.

Magnus waited a few minutes to see if Alec would say anything. When he didn't, Magnus reached out and took Alec's free hand, his thumb moving across the loose skin. Alec's other hand paused for a moment on Ms. Potts head before he resumed his petting.

Clearing his throat, Magnus spoke quietly, "Alec…darling, do you know who I am?"

Alec was silent, his unfocused eyes staring at nothing in particular.

"Sweet Pea." Magnus' grip on Alec's hand tightened a little. Alec had not remembered the term of endearment yesterday…or the day before that. "Sweet Pea, say something, please…"

Alec's lips turned down in a frown and his eyebrows drew together. He turned his head toward Magnus. Alec's lips parted for a moment, pressed together and then opened again. "You're not sweet pea…" Magnus held his breath. "I'm your sweet pea."

Magnus stared at Alec, his eyes slowly filling with tears. "You…you remembered…" The tears spilled over.

Alec reached out with his free hand and brushed the tears from one eye away with his thumb. "I may get lost from time to time but as long as you come looking, I'll find my way back." His frown deepened for a moment. "It may just take some time."

Raising Alec's hand to his lips, Magnus pressed a kiss to the cool skin. "I'll always look for you Sweet Pea."

Fifteen minutes later Alec asked, "Did you buy that new comic book for Max?"

Magnus' throat tightened up and he had to swallow hard before he spoke. "Not yet darling, but I will."


End file.
